Thursday, November 26, 2009

Short story comments?

Rosanna Edwards.



The rain was smashing against my bedroom window and the wind was whistling sharply in my ears. I just stood there, staring blankly out the window. Watching people scurry around like little mice, attempting to keep their heads dry with a book or folder. Somehow my birthday always seemed to fall on a wet, miserable day which normally ended in tears. Not this year though, I was determined to make my 25th the best birthday ever. Despite the weather, what could possibly go wrong? I had an amazing fianc茅, a decent job, as well as the best family and friends a girl could wish for. My life was slowly starting to fit together, and my puzzle was nearly complete. I heard my bedroom door slowly open, the lights dimmed and in the corner of my eye I could see a tall, dark figure stood in the doorway. I swiftly turned around to see Matthew creeping through my door holding a well lit birthday cake in his right hand, and a bottle of champagne in the other.



鈥淗appy birthday Rosanna!鈥?he said brightly.



鈥淭hank you!鈥?I replied, whilst blowing out all 25 candles.



鈥淚鈥檝e got a little something for you.鈥?Matthew handed me a present, which he had neatly wrapped in pink paper with a white glittery bow on top. My eyes widened as I slowly tore the pink paper with anticipation. It was the tiffany necklace I had wanted for ages. I felt my cheeks become full and round as the grin on my face widened.



鈥淚 love it, I love it, and I love you!鈥?I excitedly squealed at Matthew.



The clock turned to 7oclock and I decided to get ready, we were meeting some friends and going out clubbing. I slipped on my black dress, some killer heels and not forgetting my new necklace. I squirted myself with my favourite perfume and walked into the kitchen excited about what the night ahead held.



鈥淲hat do you think?鈥?I asked Matthew.



鈥淚 think, you look beautiful and amazing鈥?he replied with a cheeky smile stretching from ear to ear.



Matthew had called a taxi which was waiting outside the set of flats. Our flat was right at the top so we quickly jumped in the lift and went down all 20 floors. We arrived at the club about 9oclock and I was greeted by all my best friends. The music was blaring and the cocktails kept coming, before I knew it I was drunk. Dancing carelessly with Matthew is the last memory I have of my 25th and even that seems a bit blurry. I woke up in the morning shocked; I was unfamiliar with my surroundings. I wasn鈥檛 in my bed, and more importantly the man lying next to me was not Matthew. In fact the man whom I was laying next to was not my type in the least; he had short blonde hair and from what I could see, looked relatively fat. My head was pounding and I started to panic, I tried to remember what had happened last night but my memory was blank. I stumbled out of the bed, to see that my stuff was scattered everywhere. I threw on my creased dress and ran for the door, checking that I was still wearing my necklace. To my surprise I was only a few streets away from mine and Matthews flat. I forced myself to run as fast as I could, and although it was only a 10 minute walk, I was determined to return to my flat as quickly as possible. My stomach was churning and I felt physically sick, it was a mixture of guilt and alcohol. As soon as I arrived at my flat, my heart dropped. Sat outside the door were 4 black bags. I was shocked when I opened the bags to find my belongings; the majority of which were my clothes. I frantically knocked on the door, shouting for Matthew to answer it. I knew he was in because the music gradually got louder and louder, he was blocking my existence out. The worst thing was that I didn鈥檛 blame him, I had been unfaithful. After two tedious hours of knocking, kicking and shouting, I fell to the floor in desperation. I lay there for what seemed like hours. My eyes were swollen and puffy; and the mascara from my lashes had run. I could taste the sharp and bitterness of the salt from my tears. I pulled myself up by the cold silver door handle and stood frozen, my legs were shaking and I felt nauseated. I picked up a couple of the bulging black bags and started to walk towards the lift. I knew the best option for me take, was to leave him be and give him time, so I went to my best friend Jennifer鈥檚 place. I was dreading explaining to her what I had done, although I knew she would understand.



鈥淩osanna, what in gods name happened last night?鈥?she said sympathetically with open arms.



I could not talk, but from the look in her eyes it was obvious words were not needed, she had worked it out. I hated how Jennifer could read me like a book, no matter what. After all we had known each other since primary school. She sat me down, wrapped me up in her green fluffy dressing gown, and made me a sweet cup of tea. We talked for hours and she told me what exactly had happened.



鈥淏ut did Matthew see me leave with him?鈥?I tearfully asked.



鈥淗e tried to stop you Rosanna, he really did!鈥?she said quite firmly.



I was demoralised, and hopeless. I sipped away at my tea and tried to make sense of it all. My mind was beginning to ache, and twist, yet I still could not get my head around it. I, Rosanna Edwards would never do such a thing, and especially not to Matthew. Eventually I decided that drink had turned me into a presumptuous monster, and an indecent monster at that. Jennifer kindly offered to pick up the rest of my bags, as I was only able to carry two. She suggested that I should be looked after until the mess I had created was fixed.



3 months passed, I was still living with Jennifer and I still had not been able to contact Matthew. I had made countless amounts of unanswered phone calls, sent him hundreds of texts and emails. I had done everything I could think of and I was beginning to give up. The necklace that he had given me was still dangling from my neck; I had not taken it off since my birthday. I couldn鈥檛 take it off, not yet. The only thing I could do now was to get over him and the only possible way of doing that, was to find someone else. I knew too well that finding someone to replace Matthew was going to be near enough impossible. It was a Friday night, and I was meeting up with the girls. We were going out clubbing which was a big step for me, because I had not been out properly since my birthday. Gradually I was getting over the idea that I wasn鈥檛 really engaged anymore, although Matthew and I had not exactly split up yet I knew there was no chance we were going to be getting married! We arrived at the club and I could not stop thinking about him. Hundreds of questions were constantly running through my mind and preventing me from having a good time. What if I see him? Would I say hi? I was restricting myself from drinking but the girls managed to persuade me to have a couple, so I decided to stop after two. They understood that my previous experience with alcohol had well and truly put me off, and that it would take more than a few months for me to get back on my feet. However I seemed to loosen up after a drink, and I began chatting to a man, Sean. He was very charming and handsome, with strikingly blue eyes. He lived locally and regularly came out clubbing. In fact I found it rather strange how I had never seen him around before. We swapped phone numbers and within a few weeks, we started dating. Sean would take me out on the most fantastic dates to the finest restaurants around London. He was loaded with money and claimed he just came from a rich background. We would have the most amazing, fascinating conversations, and I slowly felt myself falling for Sean. The thing I loved about him most was the fact that he took my mind off Matthew. Sean was turning into the new Matthew and I was not planning on ruining things this time round. It had been two months since I knew Sean, but it felt like a lifetime. I had still not been in contact with Matthew and I was starting to feel that I did not even care. I had even taken off my tiffany necklace and replaced it with a stunning new necklace from Sean. Admittedly I did cry for a good two hours when I took it off, just coming to the terms with the fact that there is no 鈥楻osanna and Matthew鈥?anymore. I was falling in and out of love at the same time, Matthew was rarely on my mind and Sean had taken over. We were getting on so well, he suggested that I moved in with him, after all he lived locally and I was sure Jennifer would not mind seeing the back of me for a while. Living with Sean was incredible, he was so gentle and sweet, the kind of person who wouldn鈥檛 harm a fly. But then one night he seemed distant towards me, paranoid, almost shifty.



鈥淲hat鈥檚 wrong?鈥?I asked him kindly.



鈥淣othing, just don鈥檛 worry about it. You would not understand.鈥?He replied hastily.



I took his word for it because I did not want to seem annoying.



鈥淚 am just falling for you Rosanna, and I can鈥檛鈥?br> 鈥淲hy can鈥檛 you?鈥?I laughed nervously, immediately thinking he might be married or something.



鈥淚 just can鈥檛鈥?he snapped back.



I was confused and decided to leave it, Sean was stubborn in that way and it would have been more or less impossible to persuade him to tell me. I was comfortably sat watching the TV thinking how lucky I am to have Sean when I heard someone approach me. I smoothly turned my body around, my face dropped and my whole body turned numb. Pure fear was going through my body, I felt paralysed. His hands were trembling holding a loaded gun, pointing it towards me. I heard him pull the trigger and the noise of the gun was phenomenally loud. My body jerked and my heart stopped. The bullet had missed me by a few inches. The gun was launched across the room, it smashed through the window. His body fell to the ground in despair, his head in his hands. Ashamed and crushed. He lay there for a minute or two hopelessly. I sat, still as a statue. The only noise I could hear was Sean鈥檚 clock, each second deafening. My eyes stayed focused on the same spot. The words coming out of his mouth nauseated me, I was horrified and dismayed. I felt a lump in my throat and my pulse was racing. The shock had silenced me and I could not bring myself to speak. He hesitantly sat up, tears streaming down his face. I looked at him, his big, remorseful eyes looking straight back at mine. I opened my mouth to speak, pushing the lump to the bottom of my throat and swallowing.



鈥淲hy?鈥?I strained to ask him.



鈥淚t is my job Rosanna.鈥?he stuttered, ashamed and disgusted at himself.



鈥淲ho?鈥?I replied.



鈥淢atthew hired me. But I couldn鈥檛 bring my self to do It.鈥?he mumbled.



I could no longer force any words out my mouth, the air felt dead, and my broken heart was booming. Sean, the man who I had fallen in love with was hired to kill me.



Short story comments?

Wow it sounded even better the second time!! : )



i'll never get tired of reading this.



Short story comments?

omg thats so good



Short story comments?

Man you sure having bad luck with men......good thing it's just a story. Good story but, none the less just a story

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